I MISS YOU

I want to write something that captures just terrifying it is to be in love. I want people to understand that it’s both beautiful and disastrous, and the entire times you will be wondering how. How is it possible that you could slowly pick yourself apart piece by piece and become one with them.
I want to write something that shows just how much it burns when he leaves but no metaphor about drowning, fire, death or pain could truly encapsulate just how much it hurts. I want to write about you but I have no words, no vision, all the memories that we had vanished between the thin air as it’s never existed before

I try to convince myself not to fall easily on guys. Even though most of my friend called me a "someone who doesn't' have any feelings" but I do not mind. It's not that I do not even have feelings at all, it just, I don't want to experience the same pain that caused such a big impact in my life.

I've been experienced it before and believe me, its the most painful ever. losing someone that you care and love, there are no words that I can explain the pain that I felt.

He's my best friend,  my protector from my physcho friend, my place where I can be me, a place where I can rant all the people that I hate and he's such a great shoulder to cry. I always have this spark when I'm around him, he makes me felt love and he radiates such a happy vibe to me. He incessantly makes me forget about my rough day and how tired I am.

We do not have any special relationship between us, but we do know that we like each other. To be honest, I never confess my feelings to him, but I knew that he knows I have a feeling towards him. It's not that I'm not tried to confess my feelings to him before, it is just that there's always an obstacle when I wanted to.

But now, it's all different, our relationship did not like how it used to be. We stop talking to each other, we stop hang out like how we always used to, and worst we stop liking each other. Maybe he the one who stop it but I don't, my feelings still there for him, it is still going strong and firm. Now, we are just a stranger who doesn't recognise each other and it's hurting me.

I miss how we used to be, I miss all the memory that we created together. I miss having ice cream with you before our meal because that's what your kind of things and now its became one of my habits to eat the ice cream before meals.

I just hope that we can be like how used to be even just a good friend.

I MISS YOU.